Cutting Through It

This time, I’m showing up as… the most “me” I can be if my insides were on the outside (or as close as I can get to such an abstract concept).

Covered in black, with some red coming through. And silvery accessories carrying symbolism. Not leaving out a bit of shimmer here and there. All to ask the question: Is this what both draws in and terrifies some? And at last, close a torturous cycle with it.

Though various motifs are present, swords are what primarily stand out for this entity that’s essentially crawling out of a nightmare to remind all that bravado isn’t bravery and roughness isn’t toughness. Also that cleverness and wittiness, or what passes or is presumed as such, isn’t enough.

Other than that, it is a dancer at heart!

Note: I was going to add tiny gems to my face but, unfortunately, couldn't get the rest I needed to fully do all of this. Had to settle for quick selfies, too, instead of setting up the scene and posing more. But at least got something immortalized.

 

Playing With Fire

It’s out! I’d been looking forward to it! And so thrilled that it was basically made to go with Halloween. Playing With Fire, a concept album inspired by Frankenstein.

After wondering for around a year about JC Chasez, whether he’d keep making art or not, he’s finally giving us vital signs! More than that, released a whole album and revealed his plans to further work with it. And I’m eager to see what comes out of this! JC always came across to me as the most intense (and dark) member of NSYNC but, hearing that he’s into this type of story, to such a degree, was a pleasant surprise. Welcome back! You were missed.

I loved listening to this album. I didn’t want to get into it without being in the right head space to fully immerse in it. But as the clock ticked by, I had to dive in regardless. And it turned out to be the escape into another time and place that I needed to get by. As can be expected from JC, the vocals are spectacularly outstanding. But beyond that, the songs feel rich with life as they carry out the story. You can enjoy them on the surface, but it is definitely best to profoundly take it all in and even let it take you on flights of imagination. Picturing more of the world that they depict. There are breathtakingly beautiful pieces in there that feel timeless together with a few that come across as having a combination of both modern and retro styles - I really liked those for it.

For real, my only issue is that I couldn’t listen to the album for the entirety of the month of October. (I will keep listening to it outside of it, though. I’m not done with it!)

Speaking Your Truth

When it comes to speaking your truth, being upfront, clear, and direct is usually the best route. It might ruffle some feathers and rock the boat. It might also cause you to lose a group of people (yet strengthen the bond with those most aligned with you or make room for more of them to show up). But it'll allow you to claim the honesty badge and remain in good graces with the virtuous.

However, if for some valid reason, you can't or shouldn't do that, being indirect about it is often also an option. Not the ideal one, but still better than nothing. For example, let's say that you can't or shouldn't tell others NOT to eat rotten apples and to try fresh blueberries instead. In what ways could you lead them to the same conclusion without telling them the conclusion itself? You could speak of why it is a bad idea to consume anything rotten and/or why it is a good idea to consume something that is fresh. Alternatively, you could speak of how the positive properties of blueberries outweigh those of apples within a given context. Or some kind of mix.

Be as obvious as you can afford to be - for threading in stealth can turn into or come across as manipulation. Make it so your audience is able to have the realization that what they figured is what you meant without you having to spell it out (and reserve the right to not elaborate further).

This is easier to do (and less problematic) if you're already the kind of artist who speaks in riddles, has to be read between the lines, and/or includes hidden clues in their work. Then it is nothing new and it is something people are already aware of and can expect from you. Might as well be even more indirect and share pieces that speak for you.

If by no means should you speak your truth, at this or at a later time, it is for you to recognize. But remember: a non-action is also an action with (in certain cases, grave) consequences. So, while it may be understandable, you ought to weigh that too.

Speaking your truth is truly of great importance. Your reality literally shifts based on what you communicate. And holding too much in can become an unbearable burden. Therefore, even if it doesn't land well, or is not wrapped properly, plenty can be forgiven for that sake. Nonetheless, engage in due reflection so that you can indeed be truthful.

Disarming The Monster

They’re bigger, and stronger, and maybe even faster. Do you even stand a chance? You do. Monsters, by nature, have one major disadvantage: They are monsters.

This means that their actions, their motivations, and their intentions, are monstrous too. At least enough of them to grant them the title. And if you can identify them as such, you can begin leaving them without much to use against you. You might not beat them entirely, but it is quite possible that you can get them to a point where they can no longer harm you as much.

What kind are they? Are they obvious, where all around can see them being monstrous, or are they sneaky, where you’d have to pay close attention to notice their monstrous strategies and tactics? The former has more room to move and do terrible things, but the latter is more likely to get away with them.

In either case, take note of what they’re doing. How gross and nasty is it? Monsters usually are desperate for power. Not because it will allow them to do more for the world or for others, but because they are pathetically fearful without it. They ought to dominate, to control, to somehow be above and beyond others because they cannot handle a scenario in which they aren’t. And they would go with any means for it. Lying to themselves, lying to others, and overall being weak in areas that you might not be. Such as actually being fine with yourself.

You can call them out right away or continue to observe how far they’d go for longer. Caution, though, you’re giving them more time to do more with as you wait for more samples. This can be detrimental and dangerous to you. But if you’re watching from a safe distance and your spot is secured, you might want to let them be for a bit (unless you better intervene for others’ sake). Then gather what they’ve shown you.

How deluded are they? How much are they overcompensating for? How miserable are they making themselves? How much are they attributing to you (projecting) what is theirs to own up to? How better would we be without them? These questions, reflected upon enough, would render a significant portion of their words and actions null. At least the ones attempting to make you feel worthless and/or subordinate to them. 

From there, you must use your autonomy, remorselessly, to either further deal with them or completely remove them from your life.

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Was that a sign?

Signs are everywhere and in everything, more so when not taken at face value and instead are further interpreted. It can be intriguing and fascinating to notice them, and they can bring you to new revelations, but assuming that they’re all leading you closer to where you are meant to go can be both disorienting and maddening. Not to mention, can also create awkward and uncomfortable situations. Part of life is about presenting you with opportunities to exercise discernment and judgment, letting you examine and determine more of your life rather than fully dictating it for you. This can be especially difficult and hard to do as we may dread finding ourselves at a point where we painfully regret not heeding the signs more. But remember that, for the important decisions of your life, it should take more than just a hint that you casually or even randomly came across with.

Nightmares & Terrors

Have you had strange dreams? What could be creepily lurking down there? Some would say that dreams are completely random, but I don’t believe that to be the case.

However, dream interpretation can be quite hit-or-miss and overall unreliable. It is not, at all, guaranteed that the precise meanings commonly attributed to the symbols and the patterns that emerge in your dreams will give you accurate insight into a present or future situation in your life. They might, though, prompt you to pay attention to what you could have overlooked and have a few new realizations that are founded in reality. Am I saying there’s no magic to it? Not necessarily. And recurring themes are definitely worth reflecting on.

The subconscious is unmeasurably complex, endlessly intriguing and fascinating, quite inexplicable as well. And if you are the kind of person who often has and remembers dreams, you might have noticed that it can sometimes give you the most beautifully soothing dreams but also the most horrendously upsetting ones.

Typically, having bad dreams indicates a restlessness in one or more aspects of your being. What worries you? What scares you? What do you fear? What do you dread? What has caused you intense pain and/or suffering? What is threatening and dangerous to you? All of this is likely to show up while you’re asleep, as if you no longer hold the door closed to them and they can pass over to torment and torture you. If not just to remind you that they are there.

Horrifying as it can be, they are an opportunity to dive in, face, and overcome what could be holding you back or even sabotaging you. Anything that makes you nervous is an area where confidence is lacking. And confidence, the true kind, gets you through anything.

Maybe there is trauma to work through, possibly stored shame, and possibly stored guilt. Wounds you are yet to properly tend to, too. Illnesses as well. But maybe the enemy isn’t within. Maybe it is outside yourself.

You could be under stressful and overwhelming circumstances, absorbing tainted energy from your environment, sensing toxicity going around or even your way. Perhaps something is wrong and you’re picking up on it. Whatever it is, it is messing with you and your ability to rest.

For all we know, it could be dark entities visiting to drain, consume, and possess you. That sounds crazy, but something could come out of it.

If this is you, get to tackling it all because, yes, you can stop having bad dreams if you get to the bottom of them. Resolve what you can and come to terms with what you can’t.

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Scorpio's Description

♏ SCORPIO

Scorpio, the eighth sign, is a water and fixed sign, recognized for its terrifying intensity. Known for its depth and obsession, it delves into the mysteries of life with relentless curiosity, getting to the bottom of it. Often associated with death, transformation, and rebirth, as it fearlessly embraces radical change and growth. Their magnetic presence draws others in, while their penetrating gaze may intimidate them. Infamous for going to extremes.

Spiritually, Scorpio pulls us into discovery and pushes us toward evolution. It teaches us how to face the darkness within and without, incorporating our shadows to become our truest selves.

For context and more of relevance, please read about The Zodiac.

Stirring (Without Context) or Alleviating (With Context)

It is literally impossible to provide full context to every single move. At times, it is counterproductive too. But unless you're purposely aiming to stir things up through confusion or even rage, as part of a larger strategy, you could see if there's a way to make yourself come across as more balanced and clear so you don't lose trust or even gain more of it - and if that would ultimately be more helpful.

Blessings and Damnations

What if this means something? What if it’s been with you? Some things certainly feel and seem like something cast over us. But how true is that?

Life is full of different people. And with them, it is also full of different paths that can be taken. And along with all of that, different traits and behaviors that they’re all composed of. Some “good”, some “bad”. Some convenient, some not so much. Some putting you at a significant advantage, and some at a disadvantage. Might be so extreme or immense that it could even cause you to ask what you did to deserve it.

You can call it a soul contract. Or just genetics combined with the environment and determinism in and around them. But it is still quite strange when it is as though you’ve been bestowed with a particular twist that has an inexplicably great impact in your life, in what you can and cannot do, where you can and cannot go, and what happens around you because or in spite of you and what you’re like.

Acknowledge and embrace it. Many of us waste too much of what we’re granted by desperately trying to be anything but what we are. Disowning what sets us apart and therefore gives us something different to bring to the world. Perhaps because we had other plans and you’d rather not let anything or anyone but yourself define you. And that’s valid to an extent. But if you find yourself dismissing and denying a bit too much, maybe you should reconsider.

Both blessings and damnations can be difficult to accept. For numerous reasons. Though blessings are generally positive and constructive, or ultimately are, we might be reluctant to accept them or closed-off to them. And damnations? Well, who wants those? But they can be the precursor to intense learning that leads to profoundly transformative growth and eventually places you in a position of mastery that very few can reach. And quite importantly, in certain cases, your blessings counteract your damnations or vice-versa. So, coincidentally or not, they're there for something.

Careful, though. Choose your battles wisely. Draw your lessons as you go.

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Invisible Assistance or Sabotage

You might be overlooking something! Certain things aren’t as obvious as others. And sometimes we’re just not paying enough attention. But there is more in the works that we’ve yet to notice.

This is why it is always important to pause and reflect for a moment before making a change, adding or removing a part of something else. Because for all we know, they could be doing significantly more than we realize. Assisting or sabotaging.

Needless to say, it happens with people too. Those who help aren’t always loud about it. In fact, in many instances, they might purposely choose to be as quiet as they can possibly be, sneakily assisting you with one or more issues. Maybe they’d rather you don’t notice or maybe they’d rather others don’t notice. After all, why draw attention to your weak, faulty, or lacking spots? And of course, could be both too. Whatever the case, this is usually one of the purest forms of service to receive and it is sad it is this quality that at the same time makes it more likely to be taken for granted and only missed once it’s gone.

Alternatively, those going against you also aren’t always loud about it. They could be as sneaky or even more. Like an invisible sickness or a poison that you only find out about when it is too late  or far advances and it has already done much of the damage, irreversibly so. The sneakier they are the better so that they can continue to mess things up. So besides keeping quiet, they could put on disguises to cover their tracks. Pretending to be something they are not (probably acting as if they're solely assisting you) so that you won’t suspect them or would even drop your guard around them. It is twisted.

So look around! Take stock of what is happening. What is there, where, when, how, and why. What connects to what and what affects what? How would it go without one or another?

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Within Temptation's Memories

Within Temptation has been powerful and empowering on more than one occasion, freeing and fueling the spirit. And that’s part of what first drew me to them. They could really be felt at a soul level. Yet, there are more vulnerable aspects to become aware of and acknowledge that shouldn’t be lacking to grasp a cohesive whole. And this MV brings one of them to attention.

Here, we get GHOSTS. Hopefully, not just as figments of the imagination. Holding on to what is gone or what isn’t quite there, having a bond one would rather not break, honoring promises and carrying on. It is a frightening thought to be left alone by those you care for the most.

After having lost essential people in my life, who were also very special to me, the idea of mingling with the dead is more inviting than off-putting. And certainly taken seriously. So as much as I can joke about everything, I can appreciate the depth and strength that memories carry when it comes to those who cannot accompany us no matter how much we wish they could. And I’m just so grateful for such a hauntingly beautiful portal to all of that.

“I hope there is a way to give me a sign you’re ok. Reminds me again it’s worth it all.”
This often happens to me. For loved ones beyond, I hope that, somewhere, they’re okay. And on days when I end up worrying they might not be, I’d wish for a sign (even if there's little or nothing I can do). There are things I still do because of them, regardless of whether or not they still exist (or ever expected me to this degree), because I take what we shared as a legacy and at times I may get discouraged. But rather than being a burden, it is something that pushes me forward. Something I'm better with.

I’d be one to be forever skeptical and demand solid proof before fully believing anything. But I can’t deny that it is a comforting thought to have spirits around that are trying to guide and protect you. I’d also argue that it makes perfect sense to prefer not to let go to waste the contributions of others that got you where you are and their potential to take you even further, more so when they were unspeakably meaningful.

   Spine-chilling Queens' MV #3   

Evanescence' Call Me When You're Sober

Can you even call yourself a dark girlie if you were never obsessed with Evanescence’s work? Well, I certainly didn’t miss out on that. So many great songs I’d repeatedly listen to and even sing my own personal pain out through. But right now, I’m focusing on this one, which concisely encapsulates a phenomenon that continues to add frustration. Perhaps these days more than ever.

 

Here, we get WEREWOLVES. Or so it seems. With a pack of wolves neatly on her side, there’s someone who can’t or won’t decide. Only wasting her time. The goddamn audacity and disproportionate entitlement, where does it come from? You do know that time is one of the most valuable things in life, don’t you? I’m betting most of you do, yet you still remorselessly play with it.

This is another MV that nicely suits Halloween. Fairytales, too. But with how dark and intense it is, I can’t help but associate it the most with the former. The settings and the costumes are utterly breathtaking. And the way it all takes place in what looks like the same location, rather than suffocating, turns out enticing. It can transport you and you might be so inclined. 

“Don’t lie to me, just get your things. I’ve made up your mind.”

That’s right; I truly cannot think of a better way to deal with somebody who isn’t giving you stability and commitment after you’ve expressed that that’s something you require. Or meeting any other standards you’ve already voiced. It should come from them to get up and walk away if it has become evident that they’re not your match, but many would rather come up with countless excuses, make absolutely no sense, possibly beg, and blatantly lie to keep you around for how you benefit them with no regard for how they could benefit you. And I have zero sympathy for that.

I've heard the objections. “But how can you be so heartless!?! He’s desperately crying and is in pain and suffering!! Maybe he’s not so horrible and just needs more time!” If so… Sir, you are creating and maintaining your own hell and I am not interested in joining you within it. You should take yourself out of the dating scene if you’re not ready to date for what you claim to be. Giving things a real shot isn’t impossible. THEN you can firmly tell whether or not something is for you. It is baffling to me that so many people are fine seeing a significant other as someone to bring into their misery and/or make miserable rather than someone to cherish with devotion and make life better with. You’ve got it wrong; that’s not what being a ride-or-die means.

   Spine-chilling Queens' MV #2   

Taylor Swift's Look What You Made Me Do

I can’t count the times I’ve brought up this MV, but I haven’t done so enough already. Swifty or not, Taylor Swift has caught and kept my attention with her free-roaming, ever-evolving, and psychology-savvy art that also happens to be catchy. And this single is no exception. Far from it, it hit the nail on the head in ways I can barely begin to describe.

Here, we get ZOMBIES. A reanimated corpse, digging its way out of its grave and claiming the role of a transformed undead after meeting death by an unkind life - and the craziness around it. The betrayal of a “friend”, a.k.a. the true intentions of a frenemy revealed, having taken advantage of one’s generosity and enacting a smear campaign, both attempting to save face and destroy a reputation.

Besides being so fittingly Halloween-ish, I love what a chaotic mess it is. As though having a bit of everything. The fall, the rise, the dwelling, the plotting, the crash, the crime, the intimidation, the revolution, the support, the past selves, the multiple personalities with the conflict between them all. And more. How she calls herself out, too, and ultimately asks to be removed from the narrative.

“I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me. I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.”
There are several iconic lines in it. However, this one, in particular, stood out to me. Have you ever been caught up in something like that? Losing everybody’s trust and your own trust in everybody else? It can be even scarier than it sounds and drive you into madness - especially if you started out as somebody full of good intentions who relied on others and could be relied on too. You could be quivering in a corner or you could enter your “villain era” and push through it.

Many people fixated on how it is blaming another for one’s own choices, going “look what you made me do”. But while there are instances in which, yes, indeed, that is something abusers and people who lack accountability do, committing their horrendous acts and shifting the blame, there are, as well, instances in which, no, actually, not quite, they were left with few choices and this instead counts as a reaction to the abuse. And I appreciate how this was brought up along with all else. Sometimes you genuinely wish you could be doing otherwise - and that was the original plan that you were meaning to stick by. But also, it is another slap on the face of who’s wronging you, when they’re facing the repercussions of their actions and it is pointed out that they brought them upon themselves. Like, what were they expecting, really?

   Spine-chilling Queens’ MV #1   

Britney Spears' Slumber Party

Making an entrance, through intricate gates during a misty night, is Britney Spears, daringly putting sexy into the party! Though not necessarily a Halloween event, there are costumes and accessories that can make it feel so. Quite a few bits in the lyrics, too! So it’s still giving moods and vibes. And in case you’ve missed it, Britney Spears absolutely slays as a femme fatale and, while fantastic in many other ways, is also grand when she goes dark!

And I’m totally here for it!

Remember, though. Actions have repercussions so be wise if you’ll be wild. And nothing is sexier than having full and conscious consent before anything else! Britney Spears herself would remind you that.

(Oh, to be Tinashe, dancing next to THE Britney Spears… PRICELESS.)

   Spine-Chilling Queens' Honorary Mention   

MVs Spotlight / Spine-chilling Queens

As you might have noticed, I love music videos. And as you might have also noticed, I love Halloween. This collision brought me to this, to taking 3 or more of my all-time-favorites under a specific theme to bring them up here. And this time, the theme is “Spine-chilling Queens”.

Will this become a Halloween tradition? Wouldn’t bet on that. However, although not the first, it is quite likely another of countless instances to come where I handpick Music Videos, with something in common, that essentially tell a story or are just too impressive to pass up, mainly for the love of them.

In the past, and perhaps again in the future, I’ve brought them all together at once. But in this case, I’d like to bring them up separately, giving each a different night - and moment to take the spotlight. So if you’d like to see which ones ‘make it’ as part of the handful, along with what I may have to add to them, stay tuned for it!

In no particular order, for they’re all significative in their own ways, as Spine-chilling Queens we have...

Honorary Mention: Britney Spears (ft. Tinashe) - Slumber Party
MV #1: Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do
MV #2: Evanescence - Call Me When You're Sober
MV #3: Within Temptation - Memories

Cryptic Art

Being a cryptic artist, who's full of mysteries to solve and hints at clues and evidence for it, can be thrilling. But it can also be too tightly binding.

If you willingly got into it, fell into the habit of it, or just had to do it at some point and now it is expected of you and even highly anticipated, remember that you can still opt out if you need and/or want to. So that you can return to moving more freely without being tied to a "plot".

Find what is most appropriate for you that will also be effective. A few examples:

- Simply start doing things more normally and let your audience eventually realize that you've stopped with the hidden meanings.
- Firmly separate or distinguish the works that contain obscure messages from the ones that do not and mention it in some way.
- Clearly state that you've moved on and should be taken at face value unless or until it becomes blatantly obvious again that you've returned to it.

Some artists have no issue with being pieces of a puzzle forever and with everything, but you're not required to. Especially if it's not your style or it doesn't fit your current circumstances.

Halloween Month

October arrives again!
And with it, you guessed it, the Halloween mood.
If you want to be a kid again (or a monster), you can indulge it with me.
I celebrate it with spooky and scary content and vibes here and there.