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Maybe the set of circumstances I was born into and raised with has A LOT to do with it, but I don’t believe they’re necessary to be able to see how amazingly competent many women can be. If you’re cherry-picking the shallowest ones and/or ignoring what’s in front of you to make a point, that’s on you.
I grew up with my grandmother. A math teacher turned to a businesswoman turned to an investor. And she’s still, to me, one of the most badass persons I’ve ever met. Not only for her intellectual prowess and will against the odds, but also for her devotion to taking care of us. Anyone saying that women are less than men simply for being women never made any sense to me. In fact, they sounded absurd. Still do.
Add to that how I ended up attending a private school that, as part of their educational approach, required debate on almost every subject. And maybe it’s a coincidence, I don’t have a way to precisely measure it, but for every 1 male student that could hold their ground arguing, there were 5 female students that could absolutely destroy. And no, I’m not even counting myself in there (being articulate instead of just being infuriated by injustices and suspicious of what seemed off is something I had to work at and still have ways to go). And in case there’s anyone reading me that’s racist enough to assume they were all white (or Asian). Nope. Wanna guess who was at the absolute top? With a brain so big, in and out, that she was teased for it? A black girl.
Does this mean I’m henceforth biased in favor of black women? No. But I’m certainly not biased against them.
In the course of my life, I have encountered many different people whom I consider brilliant. I’d rather pay attention to what they say and do instead of making assumptions based on their body.
But gotta be real, have you ever tried speaking with a male who seems cut off from or actively degrades his feminine side or femininity in general? They’re dumb as bricks. So delusional and so dense. No nuance or perspective. Avoiding and running away from anything that would resemble a woman surely kept them from using huge portions of their brain. And you can guess what follows.
Why are they so successful, then? Hubris and disregard (including taking credit that’s not due). That much I’ll give to them. There they are ahead of women, who have, for the most part, been brought up to take others into account. And perhaps are naturally more inclined to do so. Not so easy then. Besides, what are you measuring success by? How do you define it?
When people are involved, however, it takes more than being competitive to REALLY be competent at a job. It’s no fictional fable that brave men would listen to wise women in order to make the best decisions. But that’s an art that often gets lost in vainglory.
And unfortunately, you can still spew out the worst nonsense imaginable and win people over - because they’d rather not use their brains. Here, in the Dominican Republic, we literally had someone win the presidential election once because the uneducated masses could “understand” him better. Whether the other candidate was more fit or not is irrelevant. When asked why he was chosen, that was what they would answer. So if an obviously unfit person gets to a high position, maybe those who put them there aren’t so bright.
That can be discouraging, but it’s merely something to factor in. Meaning that if you’re good at something and you wish to do good through that something, you should allow yourself to reach and impact others via more than only your competence, which might not be as evident or valued as it should be. Keep it real, but be strategic about it.
Also, if you have lingering any conditioning of sparing others’ feelings because you’re a woman, give yourself permission to get rid of it when you’re dealing with a**holes that would jeopardize your well-being and the well-being of others. You don’t have to be rude just to be rude. But when the moment comes to tear them a new hole, you don’t have to hold back either. It’ll offend them. And maybe it’ll offend some people on your side, too. But if there’s substance under it, and it doesn’t trigger a severe disaster that cannot be handled, you can argue for it too. I’m just saying... this is another way in which women tend to fall behind, coddling men’s fragile egos. And it can be skipped.
What seems to be happening nowadays, though, is that women were urged to give their best in several areas (for both their role as a woman and for the fact that men couldn’t be fully relied on) while men were still basically taught, in one way or another, that they could have whatever they wanted and get away with whatever they wanted. #NotAllMen. If you don’t relate to it, then don’t. You know I adore the exceptions. But it does seem to be part of the current culture. (It makes me less mad about how they find us women so ‘replaceable’ because, indeed, plenty of worthwhile women exist, though it’s still sad that this is how they choose to behave.)
But to close this ramble on a relatively positive note, this is all to say that no sexist views and opinions should ever deter you from believing in yourself if you’re a woman with ambition who has and continues to prepare herself in the areas that are relevant to her job. Chances are you’re already waaaaay ahead of anyone who would seek to demean you. So keep it up, you’re doing great!
Don’t take me as your prime example. There are countless women who are astonishing and have proved beyond doubt (though the denial is still rampant) that they are talented, skilled, and capable.
Add to that how I ended up attending a private school that, as part of their educational approach, required debate on almost every subject. And maybe it’s a coincidence, I don’t have a way to precisely measure it, but for every 1 male student that could hold their ground arguing, there were 5 female students that could absolutely destroy. And no, I’m not even counting myself in there (being articulate instead of just being infuriated by injustices and suspicious of what seemed off is something I had to work at and still have ways to go). And in case there’s anyone reading me that’s racist enough to assume they were all white (or Asian). Nope. Wanna guess who was at the absolute top? With a brain so big, in and out, that she was teased for it? A black girl.
Does this mean I’m henceforth biased in favor of black women? No. But I’m certainly not biased against them.
In the course of my life, I have encountered many different people whom I consider brilliant. I’d rather pay attention to what they say and do instead of making assumptions based on their body.
But gotta be real, have you ever tried speaking with a male who seems cut off from or actively degrades his feminine side or femininity in general? They’re dumb as bricks. So delusional and so dense. No nuance or perspective. Avoiding and running away from anything that would resemble a woman surely kept them from using huge portions of their brain. And you can guess what follows.
Why are they so successful, then? Hubris and disregard (including taking credit that’s not due). That much I’ll give to them. There they are ahead of women, who have, for the most part, been brought up to take others into account. And perhaps are naturally more inclined to do so. Not so easy then. Besides, what are you measuring success by? How do you define it?
When people are involved, however, it takes more than being competitive to REALLY be competent at a job. It’s no fictional fable that brave men would listen to wise women in order to make the best decisions. But that’s an art that often gets lost in vainglory.
And unfortunately, you can still spew out the worst nonsense imaginable and win people over - because they’d rather not use their brains. Here, in the Dominican Republic, we literally had someone win the presidential election once because the uneducated masses could “understand” him better. Whether the other candidate was more fit or not is irrelevant. When asked why he was chosen, that was what they would answer. So if an obviously unfit person gets to a high position, maybe those who put them there aren’t so bright.
That can be discouraging, but it’s merely something to factor in. Meaning that if you’re good at something and you wish to do good through that something, you should allow yourself to reach and impact others via more than only your competence, which might not be as evident or valued as it should be. Keep it real, but be strategic about it.
Also, if you have lingering any conditioning of sparing others’ feelings because you’re a woman, give yourself permission to get rid of it when you’re dealing with a**holes that would jeopardize your well-being and the well-being of others. You don’t have to be rude just to be rude. But when the moment comes to tear them a new hole, you don’t have to hold back either. It’ll offend them. And maybe it’ll offend some people on your side, too. But if there’s substance under it, and it doesn’t trigger a severe disaster that cannot be handled, you can argue for it too. I’m just saying... this is another way in which women tend to fall behind, coddling men’s fragile egos. And it can be skipped.
What seems to be happening nowadays, though, is that women were urged to give their best in several areas (for both their role as a woman and for the fact that men couldn’t be fully relied on) while men were still basically taught, in one way or another, that they could have whatever they wanted and get away with whatever they wanted. #NotAllMen. If you don’t relate to it, then don’t. You know I adore the exceptions. But it does seem to be part of the current culture. (It makes me less mad about how they find us women so ‘replaceable’ because, indeed, plenty of worthwhile women exist, though it’s still sad that this is how they choose to behave.)
But to close this ramble on a relatively positive note, this is all to say that no sexist views and opinions should ever deter you from believing in yourself if you’re a woman with ambition who has and continues to prepare herself in the areas that are relevant to her job. Chances are you’re already waaaaay ahead of anyone who would seek to demean you. So keep it up, you’re doing great!
Don’t take me as your prime example. There are countless women who are astonishing and have proved beyond doubt (though the denial is still rampant) that they are talented, skilled, and capable.
