Level Up, Not Down

If you are a genuinely and outstandingly kind person, you're going to make others uncomfortable.

If you are a legitimately and outstandingly smart person, you're also going to make others uncomfortable.

They are uncomfortable because it is prompting them to face themselves and their shortcomings - and they don't like what is there to see and deal with.

Don't downlevel yourself for them and their comfort. Let them be uncomfortable.

Allow yourself to show up with as much as you wish to of yourself. Among other things, to offer solace and/or guidance to those who'd appreciate it and would gladly level up with you.

Better Off Alone?

Maybe. Maybe you are…

We are social creatures. Or, in the case of the less sociable ones, would enjoy the company or the presence of at least one close person in our lives. But what if being alone keeps looking like the better option?

The truth is: we are not compatible with everyone. And the more atypical you are in terms of personal traits and social expectations, the less likely you are to fit in with others. Then, you may, indeed, begin getting comfortable with solitude.

This is not necessarily a reflection of a poor character, however. It is quite possible that there is knowledge that you must gain and skills that you must develop to become a better person to yourself and, consequently, for others. But it is also possible that it is precisely being your best self that is setting you apart. Since, when you work on yourself, you become more yourself and less what those around you are or urge you to be. Which, eventually, might turn you into what could be considered an “acquired taste” (or, let's face it, you're on another wavelength).

Do not despair, however. There are levels and facets to it. If you cannot find those who would wholly and fully embrace and appreciate you as you are, the odds are still higher for finding those who would to a smaller degree, as far as they get it. And that can get you by until you do.

And in the worst of cases, how awful is it to be alone? If you are, take the chance to discover, build, and live your life on your own terms. Without such distractions or interruptions. Engage in solitary, yet enriching and fulfilling activities. Meditate. It might be exactly what suits you. Until or unless something better finally appears and is within reach.

How much company you really need, and how much you would be fine exchanging for it, is for you to ultimately find out.

Thoroughly put together, Maybe

Sometimes you can only tend to a few facets and that may be fine. But, oh, to have every single detail, in and out, tended to - that is something else entirely.

Perfectionism runs counter to pragmatism, but not necessarily against practicality. Sometimes being thorough is exactly what is required for something to stand and hold up. And you may even find that, the more in order all is, visibly or not, the more satisfied you can be with it. And this keeps you going - being more productive than you’d otherwise be. Only worry about perfectionism when it is crippling you.

For some of us, it is demoralizing to rush through what we’re making. It is not about finishing and turning in a task. It is about doing this task to the best of our abilities, whether or not it will get us higher numbers. And in an ideal world, it would be possible to afford that luxury.

However, it is undeniable that time, energy, and other resources are valuable and finite. And you may be forced to speed up, keep it simple, and cut corners so you won’t fall behind. If that is the case, it is a reality to come to terms with but not one to live every day with every thing. Besides becoming more efficient at achieving the same outcome, through practice and ingenuity along with systems you could devise and implement, you can set aside a few projects to put more into.

Having one or more works you can be more fully invested in might be essential to you and even to your career. It will not only push your artistry, it will also be a testament to it.

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Should You Be Putting Up with Any of It?

You may have been born into and/or walked into an environment that pressures into sticking with relationships, no matter how awful they are. Subtly or blatantly, but you still experience the pressure.

Guilt and shame could be commonly used on you to always stay and never leave. And if you wish to be a good or exemplary person, you might believe that putting aside your own personal desires for those of others is the right and noble thing to do. In most cases, it seems that way, but it isn’t. How likely is it to be twisted or merely mistaken?

Yes, community is important. Yes, cooperation too. But at what cost? You must ask yourself and think critically about what is happening and what is expected of you. How virtuous is it, really? What are you sacrificing and what for? Is it worth it?

Pleasing is both hard and easy. It is hard in the sense that it forces you to give of yourself to satisfy others and easy in the sense that it saves you from the repercussions of not doing so. Why do you do it? Can you justify it? In what instances?

If you care about yourself and what will become of you, you must trace a path and carve out a space that allows you to be okay.

If you can't or would rather not completely cut out or go zero contact with a destructive, toxic, draining or just not right for you person or group of people, remember that you can also simply put some distance between you and/or separate. But if they're concerningly awful, or just not worth another second of your time, the further out of your life they are the better (so they don't keep messing with you and sabotaging you).

Neglect, Abuse, & Betrayal

How rubbish, atrocious, or abhorrent is your relationship? You may be dealing with one, two, or all three, of these very detestable and detrimental aspects: Neglect, abuse, and/or betrayal.

Now, depending on how many, the degree of them, and other factors, the relationship might be salvageable and could be worth salvaging. But if it is awful enough, not something to fight for, and you have the option, might as well simply leave it and be free. That’s for you to take an honest look into, accurately discern, and ultimately decide.

All of these aspects, normal and normalized as they may be nowadays, are significantly harmful to the relationship and to you. Some people can endure this more than others, but that doesn’t mean you have to. If you need and want a relationship that is void of the hurt, chaos, and insanity that these aspects bring and perpetuate, you should allow yourself to have it. If not just get out of this hell to be better.

Modus Operandi

My MO is basically:
Solve (or help solve) problems that can be solved.
Cope with (and/or help cope with) problems that can only be coped with.
Continually push forward so more problems that can only be coped with become problems that can be solved.

Did you do Wrong?

It happens. Whether it was merely a human mistake or you were being lousy, dirty, or downright vile. But once it happens, what do you do to make it right? Many remain in blissful ignorance or in stubborn denial, and continue with their fragmented and distorted reality. The rest? There are 5 steps, for better or for worse, that might be taken.

• Acknowledging the Wrong
This is simply recognizing what you did or didn’t do. It is an essential first step for awareness and improvement, but it doesn’t make it right. Some of the most horrible people linger here, enjoying the harm they consciously do to others or being apathetic about it while fully knowing about it. In their twisted ways, it may even be a way for them to brag about what they’ve gotten away with. To naive onlookers, this is already a good sign or even enough.

• Apologizing for the Wrong
Now, apologizing is another step in a good direction (or so it would seem). It does show that ego, if it was ever an issue, was put aside, or even deflated, to be humble enough to treat another as at least an equal, deserving of consideration. However, it still doesn’t make it right. And you must be wary about people who are no more than shameless, willing to continually humiliate themselves, just so they can keep doing the same.

• Refraining from the Wrong
This is where real progress can begin. There is sufficient restraint or profound change, preferably the latter as the former is bound to give out (and revert to the same or more atrocious ways). But in either case, there’s effort and investment. I wish I could say that, beyond doubt, this much makes a person trustworthy, but there’s still a chance they are no more than covert, adjusting and upgrading their mask. However, if that isn’t the case, it can lead to character development.

• Mending the Wrong
It is not just about you and whether you become someone worthwhile or not. Maybe you did cause actual damage or waste. Someone with accountability and kindness would offer to make amends or get to them without delay. In comparison, someone lacking in those traits is likely to disappear or avoid who they wronged at all costs. It may get so absurd (or truly severe) that they’d be treated as if they were the most terrifying creature in existence. It is basically running from a debt that must be paid. This is why you should educate yourself and be mindful of others, so your offenses remain minor and can be quickly and easily remedied (or even brushed off).

• Punishment due to the Wrong
This isn’t necessarily the last step. It is not even an always-required step. And it may be a natural and inevitable consequence of your actions (domino effect). But a concerning amount of people leap to it and stick to it as if it is serving a purpose. Sometimes it might, for human nature is complex, and certain humans do need a negative experience and/or memory to better themselves and stay on track. But in most cases, it’s a want. Perhaps they were conditioned to expect punishment, perhaps they enjoy pain, perhaps they’d rather dwell in suffering than do any of the other stuff that matters more. Alternatively, on the other end of it, an abuser would like to keep you there, forever moving the goalpost, so that they can keep exploiting you under the excuse that, at one point, you failed them - regardless of whether you took any of the other steps to turn things around. So that’s something to be watchful of (do not be manipulated through guilt). Furthermore, as something self-inflicted, it may seem harmless but it can be quite dangerous. A person who seeks punishment will do things that elicit it. Steer clear of them if you wish to have a gentle and harmonious life.

Ideally, you would take the steps from 1 to 4 (possibly in that exact order) and there would be no need for the 5th (program yourself to strive for correct or, at the minimum, tolerable behavior instead of just to save yourself from retribution). We’re all messy, though, so you might be more inclined to one or more steps than others while skipping or rushing through them. Nevertheless, you can work on it. If not by yourself, then with the assistance of a qualified therapist.

Virgo's Description

♍ VIRGO

Virgo, the sixth sign, an earth and mutable sign, is characterized by its realism and attention to detail. Known for being analytical and having organizational skills, it is outstanding at problem-solving for sensible application. Often associated with purity and perfectionism, as it strives for flawlessness in everything. Their methodical approach seeks to ensure that every task is completed with precision and efficiency. This may tie it to matters related to hygiene and health.

Spiritually, Virgo represents the pursuit of improvement and service to others. It teaches us the importance of being thorough and considerate, of ourselves and our environment.

For context and more of relevance, please read about The Zodiac.

The Umbrella Academy (Final Season)

The Umbrella Academy has been one of my top favorite shows since I first watched it. To the point where, when asked what kind of shows I was into, it’d be the first to pop into my head. I’ve only casually mentioned it before, though, and am only now getting to write about it. For, how could I not? It has come to an end.

Beyond being an outstanding story, written in ways that dizzy my brain but still keep it engaged, it was actually a surprise to me that Gerard Way, from My Chemical Romance (band I grew up listening to), was behind it. But it soon clicked. He does write like that and I love it. It is not exactly my style, mind you, but one I can admire without possessing.

I wish it’d keep going. I can’t get enough of it. The world grew on me. The characters too. But it already gave us 3 seasons and a last, fourth one. So I’m at least satisfied enough and able to let it go.

  SPOILER ALERT!   Keep reading at your own risk. There are spoilers ahead... 

It's Fine, You can Screw Up

You don’t have to always say the correct and perfect thing. Merely aiming for that could fill you with anxiety and cripple you into withdrawing completely. You just gotta be present enough to retract or clarify yourself after the fact if you care about how you’re impacting others and/or how you’re being perceived. It is that or tailoring effective disclaimers that would save you the trouble in several instances. Muting yourself for fear of being wrong won’t help you or others. Nobody is 100% right all of the time. We all embarrass ourselves at some point. That’s why exchanging views and perspectives, and being able and willing to patch those up, is so significant.

Admirable or Just a Fraud?

Are you someone others look up to? Should you even be?

It’s not unusual to suffer from imposter syndrome. It can happen to even the best of us. When you wonder if the admiration, recognition, respect, and other rewards you're receiving are even merited. People seem to see only the best of you, not knowing (or acknowledging) what lurks behind, what happens in your low days, what is hidden in the dark. It’s as if you’ve misled them even when that wasn’t your intention. But constantly bringing up the worst of you, your faults and shortcomings, didn’t seem like an option either.

It happens. But you are only responsible for your character. As for your reputation? Only to an extent. Yes, you can drop nitty-gritty facts about yourself to help paint a more accurate picture of who you are. But to micromanage everyone’s impression of you? That would be insane and drive you insane.

People will see you how they can see you. There is usually plenty of projection involved. Wishful thinking too. And you can repeat the words “I’m just human” but their perception of you will still be limited and skewed. And you might just have to accept that.

If, alternatively, you are indeed intentionally misleading, lying and omitting truths, so that your image would be more perfect and grandiose than it really is, even outside of obvious performances, you may be in for an eventual shattering of the illusion and public humiliation. A fall from grace.

What many fail to understand is that, to be admirable, a facade isn’t necessary. There is much to be admired in being human, in facing and overcoming the challenges of it, or even in admitting your struggles with it. To someone somewhere, that is something they currently only dream of. And if you continue being authentic and brave, then there will be more and more to admire as you gain knowledge and foster skills. But it is tempting to skip all this and get to the shiny part.

We all start somewhere and we all have flaws (or “flaws”). Don’t be too harsh on yourself if you are on the path of fostering good and great qualities. 

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Supporting Subjects of Betrayal

Somebody who has endured betrayal, and is still affected by it, is not going to operate optimally and assimilate seamlessly into dynamics. They will be reluctant and rightly so.

This is something that, first of all, you shouldn’t take personally. It does offend be seen as untrustworthy, whether you are or not, and it can test your patience to be tested for reliability, whether you’ve shown it or not. But you must understand and keep in mind that it is not about you. It is about them and what they went through that they still carry.

If you have the option, give it time and let it be. Some reassurance sometimes helps, but other times makes it worse (taken as smooth-talking that is deceiving, leading further into a scam). Do not pressure into being relied upon.

There are indeed cases when you can slowly and gradually lead another into trusting again, demonstrating that there is no or little danger into doing so, but it has its time and place. And again, shouldn’t be rushed.

It could be so that the best you can do is suggest and encourage to work it through with a therapist so that they can tackle each and every one of their fears and prepare for the probability of them, becoming more able to face and overcome whatever happens rather than continuing to withdraw from life and its uncertainty.

Recovering from Betrayal

You would assume that recovering from betrayal is comparatively easy. After all, it is an event that happens within an instant. However, such a sudden blow can be profoundly and immensely devastating.

You begin questioning your reality. Your opinions, your views, your beliefs. All that led you to trust somebody or something that wasn’t trustworthy, wondering what you missed. And you ask yourself what else could you be missing about those still around you that, as far as you know, haven’t yet betrayed you. You become suspicious. And it’s as if you can no longer confidently stand your ground or hold on to anything. Or at least that’s what might happen if it’s bad enough.

This is a process that is natural and should not be bypassed if it comes to be, however. Give yourself the time to get a grasp again on what is, what isn’t, and what might or might not be. And if you must baby-step back into trusting again, then so be it. You can forgive, but you don’t necessarily ought to forget.

There’s the saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” But as some have said, it should go, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on YOU again.” Because it is still them who are destroying trust and wasting second chances. But you should indeed weigh how worth it the risk is and decide whether or not to take it when it comes to it.

Regardless, if you have proven trustworthy people close by, your attention is best given to them while you return to your more sure self.

“Tell me who you hang with and..."

"...I’ll tell you who you are.” There’s this phrase I often heard growing up, “Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres.” That never quite sat right with me. And it would typically be used in a negative context, making you guilty of what another did or didn’t do by mere association.

As with most things, there’s usually SOME truth to them. For behaviors and more can be a reflection or just contagious. But overall, it is lazy thinking. And what’s the alternative? Only hanging with people who are exactly like you? Or people with an absolutely pristine history and of untainted purity? Now what would THAT make you?

What if you’re the kind of person who not only is drawn by similarities but also by differences? Because you’re intrigued and fascinated by them (and because you’re not completely obsessed with only yourself and what you’re like). It enriches you and it expands your horizons while also developing both tolerance and communication. What if you just have a lot of friends of many kinds?

Clearly, there would be some deal breakers that would have you prefer to stay away from a sort of person. Not only because of what it would do to your image, but because you shouldn’t even be able to smoothly stomach the sort of things that they do or don’t do and would not endorse them. Not to mention that, what they do to others, might be done to you too. But people simply being on different paths and/or on different steps of the journey? Are you supposed to turn your back on all of them merely because of that?

Being hypervigilant of and nitpicking your friends’ traits, stances, and opinions for them all to be ‘correct’ or ‘appropriate’ doesn’t quite make you a great friend. You gotta give them some leeway to breathe and to be and become. You may be motherly, but you’re not - literally - everybody’s mom.

So relax, don’t worry so much. You can make friends, hang around those friends, and be seen with those friends. If they’re good friends, that’s what matters. Forgivable mistakes and shortcomings are only that. And if anyone is trying to conflate who you are with who they are, you can ignore it or exhort them to get to know people more individually, as you have your own sins and they have theirs.

How Controversial!

Oh no! Controversy! Do you mean… Oh yes!? Controversy is that phenomenon that can make you or break you. Sometimes both.

If you are chronically conflict-averse or people-pleasing, controversy can seem like the absolute worst thing that can happen to you. However, if you are able to withstand all the waves and clashes, soaring above them or even riding them, controversy may very well work in your favor. As long as it’s not so catastrophic it knocks you out or even drowns you.

It doesn’t mean that you should seek it out and attempt to stir it up if it’s not in your nature. There is nothing wrong with having a quiet and pleasant time, drifting through the sea. But if a storm finds you regardless, you might as well learn how to sail.

As much as we might hate it, there is truth to the proverbial saying that “Any publicity is good publicity”. Controversy gets you attention. What you do with it, then, is up to you and what is within your means.

Typically, the ability to survive and even thrive despite and because of controversy rests in having one or more of the following:

• A clear conscience. Tough to handle the torture outside of you, tougher to do so if you’re tormented within too.

• Firm belief in your stance or flexibility to change it. Trying to hold on to a shaky foundation just won’t do.

• Reliable support system. Friends, family, people you can count on that are there for you no matter what and would even give you a hand.

• Wealth and resources. Hey, if there’s something you can throw at the problem then what is the problem?

• Desire to come through a better or different person. This way, rather than desperately clinging to what may no longer be, you look forward to the training, lessons, and overall transformation it’ll all bring.

Then again, you could simply be so spontaneous and mischievous that it’s all fun and games to you. Beware of committing unforgivable acts, though!

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

What Causes Betrayal?

Normally, betrayal can be traced down to having a poor character or to encountering a difficult dilemma that forces us to choose between that and a worse option.

When it comes to having a poor character, this can be about lacking the virtues that make up trustworthiness. Such as integrity, commitment, reliability, courage, goodwill, and more. It can also be more about incompetence and what led there.

As for encountering a difficult dilemma, sometimes, despite being fully against it, and capable of doing better under other circumstances, we can only choose the lesser evil or what is ranked lower among our priorities, what we’re willing to sacrifice. It might be justified, but still unforgivable. Though you might be granted some grace, depending.

Furthermore, it serves to emphasize that betrayal may be a habit or even a “kink”. A regular behavior that hasn’t been corrected and is even enjoyed. Found in those who are familiar and at home with being humiliated and humiliating others.

The Far-Reaching Effects of Betrayal

Most of all, betrayal can take a toll on our ability to trust. Which, when severely so, can even induce paranoia.

It is usually most confusing when the betrayal comes from something or somebody who showed few to no signs of being capable of such. If you were generous with giving the benefit of the doubt despite it seeming likely, a betrayal would not catch you by so much surprise and, when it does, you can choose not to be as permissive next time. But if you were selective or it just happened to be a case of apparent trustworthiness, betrayal can significantly impair your ability to ever trust anything or anybody ever again.

Experiencing betrayal teaches you, for better and for worse, that trust isn’t always merited and you must be watchful or at least prepared for it. And that is fine, a part of life. However, when betrayal is experienced repeatedly, from many different sources, it can leave you believing that trusting is unwise. And perhaps that is so, depending on the state of humanity or on how humane the environment you find yourself in is.

Betrayal can also put you in the position of the victim that you’d never again wish to be in. And this desire can be so intense that you would choose to become the perpetrator so that you are never again wronged without you wronging too.

You may as well develop a persecution complex, whether or not it is well grounded in high probability. This will make you tense and restless, unable to drop your guard and actively formulating theories of ill intent, calculated approaches, and twisted purposes. You might choose to keep your distance and play it safe.

Streets Getting Colorful

"La Duarte". Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic.

If anyone is curious or wishes to be further transported there, here’s what the area of “La Duarte” is looking like nowadays. They’ve been making it super colorful (along with opening more space for traffic so there’s less jam). I've passed through there so many times it's now one of those memories... 

Enrique Iglesias’ Bailando

There are so many songs (and music videos) I personally like by Enrique Iglesias. From way back in the 90s to later days. I’m tempted to list them all at once, as I love them so much, but they might offer the perfect guidebook to pretending to be the ideal partner and I don’t want to facilitate that! At least let them go through the trouble of doing their homework. However, this one takes the spot as one I will always enjoy, so I must share it!

Parts of the music video were filmed here, where I was born and still live, in the Dominican Republic. That in itself is enough to excite me! I wish I had been there! If not somewhere in it, then at least seeing it made (but thankfully, there are behind-the-scenes videos of it [English/Spanish]). And I happen to appreciate how it captures different sides of the country, including what makes it distinctively Dominican. Some locals would scoff at having the “lower” places shown internationally, but it’s not a problem to me. There’s a kind of beauty to it that certain people would get. And besides, you’d have to be ignorant to believe that it is all there is to the island.

Furthermore, it is such a compliment, as a song, if you have the traits highlighted and savored (or think you do, haha). But for real, it’s nice to have those intense and “crazy” traits celebrated in a woman. I’m just like, “Yes, romantics! Keep our standards high! Shouldn’t dim ourselves for anyone!” Quite often, I’ve heard that romantic music is bad for people because reality is something else. Well, I think the reality we currently have is bad for people. So… maybe the solution is to have more romanticism, not less.

Beyond all that, though, what truly makes me go out of my mind for it is how, at the same time, it brings up all these different realms to learn about as being into them. Physics, chemistry, anatomy, and then also philosophy and fantasy! Speaking of being taken to other dimensions! I cannot explain to you exactly why this is so significant to me, but it is. And it’s intertwined so well with simpler pleasures, too. Things I’ve never seen as mutually exclusive but had to argue. This is what most makes me want to claim this song.

And don’t get me started on the play of colors and the clash of cultures in those dancing scenes through that wide alley. It meant so much to me!

This song is often playing at the grocery store while I do my regular shopping, and I never get tired of it. More from Enrique often plays around here anywhere. We indeed love him.

I Love Keeping a Journal

Keeping a journal, or a diary, or anything you'd call it, is sooo important to me.

Even if I don't make entries every single day. Even if there's no possible way I can neatly encapsulate every significant or relevant moment. Even if it seems bleak and pointless while I'm narrating them. Even if it feels tedious and like yet another chore taking up my time and energy. Having that to look back to in the future is priceless.

I'm not a person with outstanding memory (I probably exchanged it for other traits and skills), but I do get nostalgic from time to time. Given that, in the greater scheme of things, everything is intertwined, and the past matters. Incredibly so. It can be marvelous for me to witness how everything eventually fits together or unlocks doors to more.

And if you knew me well, you'd believe that it doesn't necessarily have to do with money and fame for it to be amazing to me (although those can be impressively great too). It's just the miracle of everything, how astonishing and wonderful life can be. It is pure meaning.

Something not everyone knows or is aware of is that many of us legitimately suffer if we don't weave the events of our lives into stories. We lose purpose, direction, and will. We miss out on the lessons, too. And fail to see the big picture or even have a compass. Storytelling is not only entertaining, it keeps you sane.

Maybe there are characters that come in that you wish never had. Characters that leave that you wish would have stayed. Or characters that weren't there enough. And it makes you want to rip out those pages with them on them because you don't want to remember them. Maybe you don't even want them to have a place there, in the book that's yours. But they do, at one point it was their story too. Eventually, you come to terms with it and can look back at it to see how, if nothing else, they added some spice.

And maybe there is still plenty that doesn't make much or any sense. That has you wondering, "What in the world?" And it's taking up space without any seeming justification. You might ultimately find out that it does... or that it doesn't. But such is life and sometimes there's fluff and fillers. Not everything will advance the main plot and not all the plot holes are patched. The foreshadowing can be an astounding or a disappointing reveal. And the twists can be indescribably blissful or utterly devastating.

But those incredible bits that you'll treasure forever? They're worth the wait. Nobody can take that from you. And by keeping a journal, you can anchor them and be led back to them, vaguely or vividly reliving them. How magical is that? The ordinary may be extraordinary after all. Literally legendary.

It's also bewildering to think of all the times different lives have paralleled each other until finally crossing. And I don't mean simply viewing or meeting, I mean on the different levels that there are and that they carry. We contain so much. And oh, such obliviousness. It is frustrating.

I just sometimes wish I could do more of it, but soon that will be the case. Some of my biggest regrets still include not having much or anything to remember something or someone by. Yet, who knows? Maybe somebody else kept a better record and I'll stumble upon them and we'll trade!

You can be sure, though, that I'm awfully sentimental and I'm holding on...
It's a familiarity I'd rather never lose...

Polarizing The Audience

You can’t please everyone. Or can you? In certain cases, maybe. Maybe you’ve got something everyone likes or you can make different things for everyone’s liking. But what happens when people either love you or hate you? Why is that even still a thing? What happened to “Live and Let Live”?

The truth is, when it comes to holding beliefs and having opinions, there will be people who agree and people who disagree with you, possibly strongly so. You could be persuasive and convincing, winning them over after all. But at least at the beginning, there is going to be some conflict.

Similarly, the mere act of having and displaying defined preferences could get a few strong reactions, positive and negative. It’s too this or too that. Not enough of this and not enough of that. Yet again, you could make it so it grows on them anyway. If that’s something you wish to bother with.

Or they just hate you for reasons outside of your message and how you portray it. Which may or may not be well-founded.

In any case, being someone who polarizes the audience shouldn’t immediately be taken as a bad sign. Yes, it sometimes means that there is something to be revised. A “hot take” may be no more than a “bad take”, unfounded and/or misguided. But a lot of the time, it simply means that you were not neutral, vague, or plain. And when that’s the case, and it shakes others up, it opens up a discussion that could lead to worthy revelations. Or you simply dared to take a stance and it is your right to.

If you were born to rock the boat, don’t be afraid to rock it. Just keep yourself in check so you’re not just rude and constantly making people fall over and have to swim to sturdier grounds.

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Recognizing Betrayal

The initial shock can be devastating and even send you into a state of denial. Betrayal can be an extremely harsh truth to face. And especially when it comes from people deeply and immensely invested and bet on.

Past that, though, comes a point where we must accept the reality of it. We were let down, stabbed, and just done dirty. Besides how impactful it is, it can be embarrassing. We might feel foolish for having put ourselves in a position where we could be betrayed and have been so. Still, betrayal can happen even after having passed the strictest of filters on others to decrease the chances of it.

In any case, it is essential to take it in proportion to what it is. Can you really call it a betrayal or is it less than that? An error or shortcoming despite best efforts? Ignorance or forgetfulness? Sometimes we are too quick to feel crossed and slighted. Not to overlook and let things slide, but to wait until we can look at what happened more objectively and even calmly discuss it.

If betrayal was indeed what it was, it shows a lack of respect for you and what was at play. A disregard. Possibly under the impression that it would not be noticed and, if it was, it’d be forgiven. If otherwise, it was a mere misstep, it can be more attributed to clumsiness than to iniquity. Maybe while aspiring to do better. It is then on you to decide how much you will continue to entrust to them.

What is Betrayal?

We can define betrayal as an action or inaction that goes against a discussed or assumed contract between one and another (individual, collective, or entity). Such a contract can be implicit or explicit.

However, in the case of it being implicit, there is room to claim ignorance and request a pardon. Implicit contracts often stem from widely accepted and established social norms or what one would believe to be common sense. There exists the expectation that, by some age, another would be educated enough to be on the same page and, perhaps unreasonably so, share the same or a similar culture to be in an unspoken agreement.

Because of potential misunderstandings, it is recommended to be explicit whenever possible. Although, indeed, that could have you stating the obvious and speaking as you would to a 5-year-old. Regardless, you’ve done your part in informing. And while forgetfulness could still be claimed, ignorance not so much anymore.

Betrayal, however, carries a heavier weight than merely breaking any contract. It may encompass hurt, disappointment, and grief - as it is tied to matters of great importance, with much at stake, where trust is required and, perhaps reluctantly, given. Sometimes it is to the extent that it is completely unforgivable and/or speaks quite negatively of the character of whom has committed it.