Who is Prone to Being Neglectful?

It can happen to anyone at some point, being or becoming neglectful. But if it’s something you’d rather avoid, on either end, here is who to be wary of.

• The Self-centered
They are the main character. You’re just the supporting cast. Or merely extras. In their view, your sole role is to serve them. And your whole worth is based on how much and how well you perform in that regard. They do not recognize you as a person with their own life to live. They won’t be grateful, nor reciprocal, because they are entitled.

• The Old-fashioned
Or just those with messed up beliefs, whether from the past or from the present. They lack nuance and roll on oversimplifications. Anything even just a little more complex is just too much and should not be accounted for. You’re being too sensitive, too frail, too whiny. No matter how grounded in reality you are or how evident it is that they are harming themselves and others.

• The Neglected
It happened to them, it should happen to you too. That’s what some of them end up thinking. Unless they steered clear of that line of thinking or worked on themselves if they wound up with it. Read “The Far-Reaching Effects of Neglect” for more on it.

• The Clueless
They… don’t know. They don’t know they are supposed to care. They don’t know how to care. They just don’t know. Maybe they were never taught or their brain never made the correct connections. They might be teachable. But you might run into a wall and find out that it is willful ignorance that they’ll hang onto. And after an age, you must wonder why they never learned. Apathetic much?

• The Occupied
They simply have too much on their hands already. Their plate is full. They bit off more than they can chew. Give them a hand or cut them some slack. They are already doing their best even if that’s not enough. Although it is indeed concerning that, the way things are going, barely anyone has the luxury to be there for another.

• The Depressed, Anxious, and/or ADHDer
They may wish it wasn’t like that. And they try, they try. However, they have executive dysfunction that interferes with their activities. Sometimes they believe they can do something, that looks doable, but then it turns out they can’t. They might try to push through or go around it, but their efforts are futile or fall short.

Lastly, it could go without mention, but relying on very young children and very old elders for tasks that they cannot fulfill is misplaced. Same for people with any other disabilities or handicaps that interfere with caregiving.

Not everyone can provide proper care, even if they want to. So delegate accordingly.

See also: What is neglect?