.png){kind=small}
Before all of this, things were… let’s just say, quite tough. I’ve had hard and difficult times lately, but it was years ago when I was hit to the point of fully breaking while being pretty much defenseless. It is interesting now, though. As someone who’s always trying to be optimistic or at least see a silver lining or a light at the end at the tunnel, there were moments I wholeheartedly despised. And while I was aware of much of the help I was fortunate to receive, and grateful for it, I had NO idea just how much exactly was coming my way. And what an amazing surprise that people I crossed paths with then, under those circumstances, are now people I cannot (and do not want to) see myself without ever.
Let us forever be adventurers in this messed-up world that is ever-changing, with new and different obstacles to overcome and challenges to face, as we continue to grow stronger, wiser, braver, and more prepared for anything that’s to come.
I can’t say, right now, that everything is fine. And celebrate it as much as I’d like. I am depleted and wounded from what have been a rough few years for me, and it feels kind of heavy still. But through every tragedy, there have been so many miracles. More than I can actually count, let alone tell about! Making it all better. Some days I’m angry and sad, and I’m stressed and overwhelmed, but whenever I get the chance to slow down and look around, I marvel at what is and what has been. I now have in my life what I would not have even dreamed of before!
And these are things I can’t brag about. But that’s okay. Because I’m not the type to have frenemies around I ought to brag to. Yet, I am overjoyed, indeed, when I take it all in, and must sometimes express it in at least some way.
Things like being ABSOLUTELY spoiled with art and art resources. And the unwavering support and encouragement, even amidst scandals, infamy, sabotage, and all the other stuff we oughta deal with to make it in this horrid place. Believe it, I may not always be in a state in which I can show it, but I do not take it for granted at all.
And I know, too, that many of you are not obligated to be so kind toward me. There are times when I need or want more than you can or are willing to give, and that can be frustrating, but I come to my senses eventually. And Thank You, for real.
What blows my mind is how totally crazy it is. Maybe it doesn’t look like it from the outside. But if you were in my shoes, grasping what a raving fangirl I truly am, or just how dreamy I’ve been about everything, maybe you’d understand that it is not to be taken lightly. I honestly haven’t been able to freak out as much as I naturally would about it because times have been busy with more than I could handle, but it is no exaggeration. It has been wonderful beyond belief.
There have been instances in which my cynicism was proven right and I hated that. But the instances in which it was proven wrong? I HAVE NO WORDS. LOVE FALLS SHORT. What do you mean that solidarity, chivalry, and heroism exist? In this economy?! It’s almost like having one’s own fairy tale realm.
People I thought would never bother to even speak to me actually reached out? And were angels? WHAT?! And people I expected better of, having the bar near hell to give them leeway, turned out to be cartoon villains? WHAT IS GOING ON? Storybooks can’t compare to all these twists and turns.
It’s an ongoing road trip, with gas station stops and retro diners along the way. Occasionally indulging in parking lot cinema. Encountering strange but intriguing and fascinating individuals, getting in and out of trouble, and making what we can out of it.
The best of it, in my opinion, is that this is barely beginning. There’s so much to look forward to and I can only hope to be around for it. If nothing else, I'm sure I’ll be able to smile through the tears…
