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Saturday, July 13, 2024

The Far-Reaching Effects of Neglect

Harmless as it may seem, neglect can have immense and profound effects on us that can last weeks, months, years, and even decades - more so if untreated.

Besides the physical and/or immediate effects that unmet needs and wants can have, some psychological effects that then shape our lives for longer include:

• Bitter Resentment
You become hateful or just indifferent toward others - especially those that had it better than you. You lack generosity. And even if you had some of it in you, you lack the abundance from which to give it. You know, consciously or not, that you deserved better or that it was your right. Seeking vengeance is tempting. May spite others at any chance you get.

• Isolating Hyperindependence
You accept what happened as something that happens. Your takeaway from it is that you cannot trust, rely, or count on others for much or anything at all. Perhaps believe it to be foolish too. Immature even. It may be to the extent that you view less independent people as lesser and may urge them to toughen up. Frustrated when anyone asks anything of you because you did it alone. Why can’t they? Could become prideful to the extent that it blinds you to help you do or have received.

• Unidirectional Compassion
Others matter, but you don’t. That’s the message you got. You may be quick to help others, probably gladly doing so, but have trouble asking for help for yourself (or even acknowledging your own needs, let alone wants). You too easily feel like a burden and try not to be one at all costs. You come last. Putting yourself first, at any point, might even have you believing you’re vile.

Or something along those lines. In some amount. Possibly a mixture, despite the contradiction.

Put in context, you could infer how this would shape your relationships with close ones, your family, your community, and society at large. And the consequences are, to say the least, not ideal. But most of all, your relationship with yourself is impacted.

See also: What is neglect?