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- Note if any of your needs or wants are not being met, despite having been communicated (communicate them if not).
- Get clear on what your and others’ duties are. Are they being fulfilled? What can and should really be expected from one another?
- Consider relevant factors and weigh everything as fairly and reasonably as you can. Put yourself in their shoes and be in your own shoes too.
- If you can be sure that there has been a failure to care, bring it up in the words and tone that could be appropriate (even if it is embarrassing or inconvenient to them).
- If they are attentive, responsive, and work to correct their behavior, you can choose to have some patience and see if it will be resolved soon.
It could end there, or it could not…
- If it is ignored or even dismissed, or endlessly put off, give yourself permission to disengage (care as little about them as they do about you).
- Formulate valid arguments in your defense to fend against any unmerited accusations, whether by them or by your own faulty beliefs, whether you’ll voice them out or keep them to yourself in order to be at peace.
- Withdraw the investment you had in them and put it toward yourself. Tend to yourself like you expected they would and then more.
As usual with breaking cycles, it is easier said than done. But you can keep these steps at the forefront so that you won’t be forever going in circles through the same.
- Consider relevant factors and weigh everything as fairly and reasonably as you can. Put yourself in their shoes and be in your own shoes too.
- If you can be sure that there has been a failure to care, bring it up in the words and tone that could be appropriate (even if it is embarrassing or inconvenient to them).
- If they are attentive, responsive, and work to correct their behavior, you can choose to have some patience and see if it will be resolved soon.
It could end there, or it could not…
- If it is ignored or even dismissed, or endlessly put off, give yourself permission to disengage (care as little about them as they do about you).
- Formulate valid arguments in your defense to fend against any unmerited accusations, whether by them or by your own faulty beliefs, whether you’ll voice them out or keep them to yourself in order to be at peace.
- Withdraw the investment you had in them and put it toward yourself. Tend to yourself like you expected they would and then more.
As usual with breaking cycles, it is easier said than done. But you can keep these steps at the forefront so that you won’t be forever going in circles through the same.
