Recovering from Neglect

If you’ve been neglected, much of what applies to abuse recovery applies here too. Basically, to give yourself the chance to recover and take as long and as much as you must depending on the severity of the neglect. But to be more specific, there’s more to look out for and tend to.

How is your mind, your heart, your body, and your spirit? Overwhelmed or in order? Stressed or relaxed? Exhausted or capable? Muddled or neat? How is your environment? The situations and circumstances that you dwell in? Take an honest look at various aspects of yourself and begin giving yourself what you were denied. If others you can trust offer to help with that, be open to it. If they are being inadequate or merely inefficient, take over unless or until you can afford to give them more leeway. If you are in a severe state of neglect, it is important to tend to yourself with the utmost care. And sometimes that means you’ll have to do it yourself.

Try not to succumb to resentment and rage toward what led you there, whether yourself or others. Focus on solutions and action first. You might meet better people later and become a better person as well. For the time being, what matters is getting yourself to a state where you can operate well, from a sense of abundance rather than lack. You don’t have to be selfish, but you ought to be self-serving to an extent - give yourself permission for that and cut out (or ignore) anyone who opposes it. If not worse, they might not be seeing where you’re coming from. You don’t have to educate them on it.

You can give yourself a period of time that you can call your You era. Plan and execute around that concept. Pinboards, planners, and journals might suit you. If you’d rather keep it simple, that’s fine. Just find ways to stay on track and keep going.