Measures to Keep Neglect Out of Your Life

As with anything that involves being treated right, it has plenty to do with your self-esteem and the various forms of protection that can come from it. But let’s break it down into measures.

- Are you neglectful? No? Then why accept neglect?
- Are you a person striving to survive and thrive to give back? Then why accept neglect?
- Are you a human being who was born into or gone through unfortunate circumstances that left you without much agency? Then why accept neglect?

If your self-esteem isn’t high enough, whether or not your ego is big, this could sound like you are asking for too much. But this is only directing you toward receiving better care from those close to you, around you, and/or in charge. It doesn’t mean you will be forcing anyone in particular to tend to your every whim. If that’s how you’re understanding it, you should reflect it further.

• Work on your self-esteem.
Make it so you have self-acceptance, self-respect, self-care, and a good sense of self-worth. Affirming yourself won’t do if there are things you could work on in yourself and you aren’t already putting in the work. Earn your self-esteem and have it.

• Do not be afraid to be rude.
Situations that shouldn’t have lasted more than 3 days can extend for months and even years if we’re tip-toeing around others. Drop any belief that leads you to assume that you are obligated to coddle others and suppress yourself when that is not the case.

• Learn to receive.
You’d assume that receiving is the easiest thing in the world, but then find out that you have trouble with it. When you’re too humble or too reciprocal, receiving can be difficult. You may ask yourself if you deserve it and, while that is good, you sometimes must look at it differently. Maybe you don’t deserve it right now, but you will in the future. Or maybe never, but it’ll still make you a better person, healing you and curing your vices, and that benefits everyone around you. Just be mindful of when you’re taking too much from those who barely have for themselves.

• Begin to trust the trustworthy.
In a world like ours, trusting is dangerous. But if you happen to find people who are deserving of your trust, at least when it comes to certain matters and issues, do not withhold trust forever. Help is easier to exchange when there is trust. Look for what can make you comfortable with it and go from there. If anyone betrays your trust, do not listen to their pleas for forgiveness. These are people lacking in guilt and shame. Let them prove themselves if they want your trust again or leave them without it.

Furthermore, you could reflect on the times when you allowed neglect into your life and what you could and should have done instead.