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My Personal Stance
It remains the same! As it has been from the very beginning, I stand for what is truthful, effective, and fair. I don’t yet have all the answers, but I do my best to consider and weigh different views and opinions to grasp the reality of the matter and find solutions to issues. Generally, I see that people are either ignorant, confused, misguided, malicious, pushing an agenda, or a combination of two or more of those. And I try to have patience but it can run out.
This year, I haven't delved much into the area of LGBTQ+, as it looks like more of the same to me. Essentially, movements having started with certain valid aims but being taken to outrageous degrees that I cannot agree with in sane judgment. And people in and outside of them being reasonable or unreasonable about them. Ultimately a fight between truths and lies. What I ended up seeing more of this year is the current state of relationships (and the dating scene) and I'd rather expand on that this time.
Points
A few aspects of how relationships are taken and dealt with came to my attention and it's been both infuriating and disappointing to me, who's relatively fine being single. I can't imagine what a nightmare it must be for those for whom this isn't the case. And many of the problems seem to arise from blindly taking relationship advice from people who are not really qualified for it and may be speaking from their trauma, wounds, ego, assumptions, or mere inexperience and ignorance.
• 50/50
Sounds fair, right? Except it rarely is. Too often, the 50/50 deal fails to take into account numerous relevant factors and, in its insistence on splitting everything (or what's convenient) evenly, makes the relationship entirely transactional. One or the two would be overlooking or taking for granted the investments and sacrifices of the other, as well as particular strains that would make things harder for one than for another. What should be an agreement to both do their best to contribute to the relationship becomes instead a poorly calculated deal - where one or both could be blind to their shortcomings and deluded about the value that they bring. In its short-sightedness, it also fails to take into account that, as humans, you may not always be able to contribute a steady percent; one day you may be able to give an 80%, another a 50%, another a 10%, then a 30%, or a 75%, and so on. And the relationship is not looked at holistically.
• High/Low Value Man/Woman
Some would judge this value based on character and virtue as they relate to what would foster and maintain a fulfilling relationship, which would make more sense to me. But the number of people making superficial judgments and basing them on trivialities is concerning to me (to say the least). Yes, it is fine to have preferences for what you like and value a certain set of traits more highly than another for your personal choices. But when you're making "objective" calls on what is or isn't high value, you should at least try to see beyond yourself and your conditioning.
• Masculine/Feminine
This has gone on in more ways than I can count, defining and redefining. I have my own notions of what can be considered "masculine" and what can be considered "feminine" and I know that, ultimately, they're just categorizations that facilitate descriptions. But I've been coming across a few takes that make me want to ask if they hadn't learned anything - until I realize that they probably never attended the same classes I did and I cannot expect them to be on the same page with me. Ultimately, this isn't set in stone and your own understanding of it can be quite flexible (not to mention, subject to epochs). But when people arbitrarily attribute traits to one side or the other or are completely going off outdated and shallow stereotypes, I have to breathe in and breathe out. Something I can appreciate, though, is the subcategorization I've seen come up plenty lately, of the Wounded Masculine/Feminine. This adds more dimension to it and is worth pondering, in my opinion. As would be the typical Mature and Immature, and the Healthy and Unhealthy versions of each.
• Situationships
Are situationships more common these days or did I somehow step into a a stream of them? I would guess that even if it is the latter, it is also the former to an extent. It's like they are more normalized and people don't experience as much guilt or shame over them - even when it's clearly making the other uncomfortable. And given how lifestyles have changed, with both pressure to operate in certain ways and freedom to do whatever you like, for countless different reasons, it has become the go-to for many. And maybe I'm just tired and they would have been fine for me when I was younger and could be fascinated by romantic drama and dilemmas, but I find them extremely frustrating when grown adults are involved. You can and should do better than that.
• Battered or Bettered
There's a trend going on about the boyfriend and the girlfriend effect. And while not unbiased (mostly showing the girlfriend effect as favorable while the boyfriend effect as disfavorable), it does bring us to the reality that some relationships make you worse and some make you better. And this can be seen in how healthy and happy you look while in them. In bad relationships, your hair, your skin, and more suffer. You also seem uncomfortable and awkward in what you wear and how you present yourself. Not to mention tired. In good relationships, it is the opposite. And I find it insane that even at this point in time you can still find people who take pride in treating their partner badly. As if they deserve applause for getting away with being a lousy partner that would be a good riddance. If you look at your partner and you're not compelled to be and do what would make them and their life better, something or someone is seriously lacking.
• Loneliness Epidemic
Then there's the "loneliness epidemic". Something that many have laughed at and rightfully so. I mean, look at how careless people are being with others and their relationships with them. And then they wonder why so many are now choosing to be single and have accepted singlehood. Do you want people to suffer and be miserable when they could just not? And it's not a matter of having to force relationships and make it so they're a requirement for much, it's that people are not bothering to be worthwhile and have worthwhile relationships. That even the most tolerating and accommodating person would rather opt out of them. You're not entitled to a relationship in this regard ever, but even less when you don't show devotion to them.
