Blessings and Damnations

What if this means something? What if it’s been with you? Some things certainly feel and seem like something cast over us. But how true is that?

Life is full of different people. And with them, it is also full of different paths that can be taken. And along with all of that, different traits and behaviors that they’re all composed of. Some “good”, some “bad”. Some convenient, some not so much. Some putting you at a significant advantage, and some at a disadvantage. Might be so extreme or immense that it could even cause you to ask what you did to deserve it.

You can call it a soul contract. Or just genetics combined with the environment and determinism in and around them. But it is still quite strange when it is as though you’ve been bestowed with a particular twist that has an inexplicably great impact in your life, in what you can and cannot do, where you can and cannot go, and what happens around you because or in spite of you and what you’re like.

Acknowledge and embrace it. Many of us waste too much of what we’re granted by desperately trying to be anything but what we are. Disowning what sets us apart and therefore gives us something different to bring to the world. Perhaps because we had other plans and you’d rather not let anything or anyone but yourself define you. And that’s valid to an extent. But if you find yourself dismissing and denying a bit too much, maybe you should reconsider.

Both blessings and damnations can be difficult to accept. For numerous reasons. Though blessings are generally positive and constructive, or ultimately are, we might be reluctant to accept them or closed-off to them. And damnations? Well, who wants those? But they can be the precursor to intense learning that leads to profoundly transformative growth and eventually places you in a position of mastery that very few can reach. And quite importantly, in certain cases, your blessings counteract your damnations or vice-versa. So, coincidentally or not, they're there for something.

Careful, though. Choose your battles wisely. Draw your lessons as you go.

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Invisible Assistance or Sabotage

You might be overlooking something! Certain things aren’t as obvious as others. And sometimes we’re just not paying enough attention. But there is more in the works that we’ve yet to notice.

This is why it is always important to pause and reflect for a moment before making a change, adding or removing a part of something else. Because for all we know, they could be doing significantly more than we realize. Assisting or sabotaging.

Needless to say, it happens with people too. Those who help aren’t always loud about it. In fact, in many instances, they might purposely choose to be as quiet as they can possibly be, sneakily assisting you with one or more issues. Maybe they’d rather you don’t notice or maybe they’d rather others don’t notice. After all, why draw attention to your weak, faulty, or lacking spots? And of course, could be both too. Whatever the case, this is usually one of the purest forms of service to receive and it is sad it is this quality that at the same time makes it more likely to be taken for granted and only missed once it’s gone.

Alternatively, those going against you also aren’t always loud about it. They could be as sneaky or even more. Like an invisible sickness or a poison that you only find out about when it is too late  or far advances and it has already done much of the damage, irreversibly so. The sneakier they are the better so that they can continue to mess things up. So besides keeping quiet, they could put on disguises to cover their tracks. Pretending to be something they are not (probably acting as if they're solely assisting you) so that you won’t suspect them or would even drop your guard around them. It is twisted.

So look around! Take stock of what is happening. What is there, where, when, how, and why. What connects to what and what affects what? How would it go without one or another?

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Within Temptation's Memories

Within Temptation has been powerful and empowering on more than one occasion, freeing and fueling the spirit. And that’s part of what first drew me to them. They could really be felt at a soul level. Yet, there are more vulnerable aspects to become aware of and acknowledge that shouldn’t be lacking to grasp a cohesive whole. And this MV brings one of them to attention.

Here, we get GHOSTS. Hopefully, not just as figments of the imagination. Holding on to what is gone or what isn’t quite there, having a bond one would rather not break, honoring promises and carrying on. It is a frightening thought to be left alone by those you care for the most.

After having lost essential people in my life, who were also very special to me, the idea of mingling with the dead is more inviting than off-putting. And certainly taken seriously. So as much as I can joke about everything, I can appreciate the depth and strength that memories carry when it comes to those who cannot accompany us no matter how much we wish they could. And I’m just so grateful for such a hauntingly beautiful portal to all of that.

“I hope there is a way to give me a sign you’re ok. Reminds me again it’s worth it all.”
This often happens to me. For loved ones beyond, I hope that, somewhere, they’re okay. And on days when I end up worrying they might not be, I’d wish for a sign (even if there's little or nothing I can do). There are things I still do because of them, regardless of whether or not they still exist (or ever expected me to this degree), because I take what we shared as a legacy and at times I may get discouraged. But rather than being a burden, it is something that pushes me forward. Something I'm better with.

I’d be one to be forever skeptical and demand solid proof before fully believing anything. But I can’t deny that it is a comforting thought to have spirits around that are trying to guide and protect you. I’d also argue that it makes perfect sense to prefer not to let go to waste the contributions of others that got you where you are and their potential to take you even further, more so when they were unspeakably meaningful.

   Spine-chilling Queens' MV #3   

Evanescence' Call Me When You're Sober

Can you even call yourself a dark girlie if you were never obsessed with Evanescence’s work? Well, I certainly didn’t miss out on that. So many great songs I’d repeatedly listen to and even sing my own personal pain out through. But right now, I’m focusing on this one, which concisely encapsulates a phenomenon that continues to add frustration. Perhaps these days more than ever.

 

Here, we get WEREWOLVES. Or so it seems. With a pack of wolves neatly on her side, there’s someone who can’t or won’t decide. Only wasting her time. The goddamn audacity and disproportionate entitlement, where does it come from? You do know that time is one of the most valuable things in life, don’t you? I’m betting most of you do, yet you still remorselessly play with it.

This is another MV that nicely suits Halloween. Fairytales, too. But with how dark and intense it is, I can’t help but associate it the most with the former. The settings and the costumes are utterly breathtaking. And the way it all takes place in what looks like the same location, rather than suffocating, turns out enticing. It can transport you and you might be so inclined. 

“Don’t lie to me, just get your things. I’ve made up your mind.”

That’s right; I truly cannot think of a better way to deal with somebody who isn’t giving you stability and commitment after you’ve expressed that that’s something you require. Or meeting any other standards you’ve already voiced. It should come from them to get up and walk away if it has become evident that they’re not your match, but many would rather come up with countless excuses, make absolutely no sense, possibly beg, and blatantly lie to keep you around for how you benefit them with no regard for how they could benefit you. And I have zero sympathy for that.

I've heard the objections. “But how can you be so heartless!?! He’s desperately crying and is in pain and suffering!! Maybe he’s not so horrible and just needs more time!” If so… Sir, you are creating and maintaining your own hell and I am not interested in joining you within it. You should take yourself out of the dating scene if you’re not ready to date for what you claim to be. Giving things a real shot isn’t impossible. THEN you can firmly tell whether or not something is for you. It is baffling to me that so many people are fine seeing a significant other as someone to bring into their misery and/or make miserable rather than someone to cherish with devotion and make life better with. You’ve got it wrong; that’s not what being a ride-or-die means.

   Spine-chilling Queens' MV #2   

Taylor Swift's Look What You Made Me Do

I can’t count the times I’ve brought up this MV, but I haven’t done so enough already. Swifty or not, Taylor Swift has caught and kept my attention with her free-roaming, ever-evolving, and psychology-savvy art that also happens to be catchy. And this single is no exception. Far from it, it hit the nail on the head in ways I can barely begin to describe.

Here, we get ZOMBIES. A reanimated corpse, digging its way out of its grave and claiming the role of a transformed undead after meeting death by an unkind life - and the craziness around it. The betrayal of a “friend”, a.k.a. the true intentions of a frenemy revealed, having taken advantage of one’s generosity and enacting a smear campaign, both attempting to save face and destroy a reputation.

Besides being so fittingly Halloween-ish, I love what a chaotic mess it is. As though having a bit of everything. The fall, the rise, the dwelling, the plotting, the crash, the crime, the intimidation, the revolution, the support, the past selves, the multiple personalities with the conflict between them all. And more. How she calls herself out, too, and ultimately asks to be removed from the narrative.

“I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me. I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.”
There are several iconic lines in it. However, this one, in particular, stood out to me. Have you ever been caught up in something like that? Losing everybody’s trust and your own trust in everybody else? It can be even scarier than it sounds and drive you into madness - especially if you started out as somebody full of good intentions who relied on others and could be relied on too. You could be quivering in a corner or you could enter your “villain era” and push through it.

Many people fixated on how it is blaming another for one’s own choices, going “look what you made me do”. But while there are instances in which, yes, indeed, that is something abusers and people who lack accountability do, committing their horrendous acts and shifting the blame, there are, as well, instances in which, no, actually, not quite, they were left with few choices and this instead counts as a reaction to the abuse. And I appreciate how this was brought up along with all else. Sometimes you genuinely wish you could be doing otherwise - and that was the original plan that you were meaning to stick by. But also, it is another slap on the face of who’s wronging you, when they’re facing the repercussions of their actions and it is pointed out that they brought them upon themselves. Like, what were they expecting, really?

   Spine-chilling Queens’ MV #1   

Britney Spears' Slumber Party

Making an entrance, through intricate gates during a misty night, is Britney Spears, daringly putting sexy into the party! Though not necessarily a Halloween event, there are costumes and accessories that can make it feel so. Quite a few bits in the lyrics, too! So it’s still giving moods and vibes. And in case you’ve missed it, Britney Spears absolutely slays as a femme fatale and, while fantastic in many other ways, is also grand when she goes dark!

And I’m totally here for it!

Remember, though. Actions have repercussions so be wise if you’ll be wild. And nothing is sexier than having full and conscious consent before anything else! Britney Spears herself would remind you that.

(Oh, to be Tinashe, dancing next to THE Britney Spears… PRICELESS.)

   Spine-Chilling Queens' Honorary Mention   

MVs Spotlight / Spine-chilling Queens

As you might have noticed, I love music videos. And as you might have also noticed, I love Halloween. This collision brought me to this, to taking 3 or more of my all-time-favorites under a specific theme to bring them up here. And this time, the theme is “Spine-chilling Queens”.

Will this become a Halloween tradition? Wouldn’t bet on that. However, although not the first, it is quite likely another of countless instances to come where I handpick Music Videos, with something in common, that essentially tell a story or are just too impressive to pass up, mainly for the love of them.

In the past, and perhaps again in the future, I’ve brought them all together at once. But in this case, I’d like to bring them up separately, giving each a different night - and moment to take the spotlight. So if you’d like to see which ones ‘make it’ as part of the handful, along with what I may have to add to them, stay tuned for it!

In no particular order, for they’re all significative in their own ways, as Spine-chilling Queens we have...

Honorary Mention: Britney Spears (ft. Tinashe) - Slumber Party
MV #1: Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do
MV #2: Evanescence - Call Me When You're Sober
MV #3: Within Temptation - Memories

Cryptic Art

Being a cryptic artist, who's full of mysteries to solve and hints at clues and evidence for it, can be thrilling. But it can also be too tightly binding.

If you willingly got into it, fell into the habit of it, or just had to do it at some point and now it is expected of you and even highly anticipated, remember that you can still opt out if you need and/or want to. So that you can return to moving more freely without being tied to a "plot".

Find what is most appropriate for you that will also be effective. A few examples:

- Simply start doing things more normally and let your audience eventually realize that you've stopped with the hidden meanings.
- Firmly separate or distinguish the works that contain obscure messages from the ones that do not and mention it in some way.
- Clearly state that you've moved on and should be taken at face value unless or until it becomes blatantly obvious again that you've returned to it.

Some artists have no issue with being pieces of a puzzle forever and with everything, but you're not required to. Especially if it's not your style or it doesn't fit your current circumstances.

Halloween Month

October arrives again!
And with it, you guessed it, the Halloween mood.
If you want to be a kid again (or a monster), you can indulge it with me.
I celebrate it with spooky and scary content and vibes here and there.

Managing Expectations to Reduce Stress and Overwhelm

Alright, so there’s a lot of work. And probably, you’d like to succeed at delivering something outstanding. Which I would applaud. But are you getting in your own way of it?

Being in a state of relaxation doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re being careless about what you’re doing or supposed to be doing. You may assume that restlessness, in contrast, shows care. And often it does. But more likely than not, it just comes with stress and overwhelm. And while they can push you, they can also pull you back - or cause you to trip over your own feet.

Take a deep breath and slowly let it out. You got this. Instead, reevaluate. 

What are your expectations?

You can aim as high as you wish. I’m not here to tell you to be “realistic”. Just as long as you can also make peace with hitting below it if it comes to be, it’ll be fine. Being ambitious isn’t torturous in itself. It is only the fear of not meeting your aspirations and not being prepared to fail that can mess you up and crush you. Or even worse, keep you reducing your expectations so you accomplish what you set out to but not deliver much or anything beyond it.

What are your standards?

You can take an honest look at the quality you are able to deliver and nudge yourself a bit above it with every new task or whenever you can afford to do that (having the required time, energy, resources). You can go from a 10 to a 100, but it might be more practical for you to allow yourself a more gradual improvement. That way, you won’t be crippled by perfectionism and end up putting off or forever holding onto it.

What are your approaches?

If you’re a mathematical and strategic genius, you could come up with systems and processes that make the most and the best of what you’ve got to deliver flawless results at a low cost and in a short amount of time. But maybe you’re not and that is fine. What you do then, is apply approaches that seem suitable and, through trial and error, optimize as you see fit while you keep going.

A useful trick that is worth emphasizing is to attempt what is called a Minimum Viable Product first. Once you have that, you can relax by knowing that at least something that is sufficient has been done and is in your hands. From there, you can put more into it with what you’ve got left. This is especially handy when you’re in days when you’re not and cannot give your best. But instead of letting it discourage or even paralyze you, you manage.

Furthermore, don’t overlook the convenience of organizational tools! Breaking down unclear goals into clear steps can free you from much stress and overwhelm. 

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI