The Vulnerability of Being Exposed

Inhibitions, inhibitions, inhibitions. They’re there for a reason - or several. Should they be kept? Or should they be let go of? That’s something to look closely into.

In a way, they guard us. Behind an inhibition is likely an area that has, in some form, been wounded before. Or perhaps, simply an area that, upon witnessing attacks to the same or similar, we assume (possibly correctly so) they’re at risk as well. More generally, it could be that we know, sense, or worry we’re around or surrendered by the kind of people who would not be so gentle with us. Maybe we grew up in an environment that made it the norm, so it is now a pervasive fear that we can hardly shut off.

There are instances in which it is completely rational to be inhibited and instances in which it is not. If we are vulnerable to being wounded, that’s enough reason to have our guards up. At least for as long as we’re thin-skinned rather than thick-skinned about a matter.

They say that callouses and scar tissue are stronger than regular skin, and there’s truth to that. However, there’s only so much that you can take without willingly becoming a human sacrifice to entertain the vices of others. So if you wish to be reserved, then be. And if you can handle being exposed, not losing much by it or even gaining in return for it, then that’s your choice to make too.

Nevertheless, it is important to know that, oftentimes, what makes us vulnerable and prone to being wounded is no more than our own beliefs and attitudes in regards to something. How you look at it. Would you be agreeing with negative and destructive feelings and thoughts or would you be disagreeing, and dismissive of them? When somebody harshly criticizes you, do you give their views and opinions weight or are they irrelevant or even mistaken as far as you're concerned? Are you accepting enough of yourself that you would instead see them as too narrow-minded and judgmental?

Regardless, it can sting, and it can indeed get under your skin (especially when done repeatedly). When that happens, you may have to go through it and draw out the poison before it spreads and is further internalized. Being patient, caring, and sincere with yourself can be your remedy. Treat it with the tenderness that the other person failed to.

"IYKYK"

Are you in or are you out? The inside jokes, the references, and the (quite unbelievable) lore that makes it possible, with its origins back in who-knows-when. If you know, you know. And if you don’t, do you REALLY want to know? Once you go down the rabbit hole, you might never be the same. It’s all fun and games until it’s not. Not for the faint of heart. Maddening, to say the least. More than a hobby, an obsession.

New Module: Egg Hunt

Last but not least, another new module has been incorporated! It’s been long overdue, but it’s finally here. I know it, you know it, we know it, they know it. Whether it’s easter or not, artists love easter eggs. Both hiding and hunting for them is certainly a thing.

So here it is! On the right side column, just between the special dates and the psyche.

They Show Up Like They're The Best

But they aren’t.

As if absolutely desperate, restlessly so, for your attention, there are people who will jump through hoops, pull insane gymnastics, and attempt to defy the rules of physics to get what they want from you. They could have asked politely, discussed a fair deal, come to an arrangement, and commit to it or back out (and try again elsewhere). But it’s as if they’ve somehow learned that, by constantly scamming and/or actively spamming others, they get their way - and that’s all that matters to them.

These are the type of people who will emulate the most outstanding and desirable traits and qualities that can be found in a person. So much that, because they are eventually found out, these turn into "red flags" to watch out for. The “too good to be true” kind. So not only do they mess with those that they target, they also ruin it for the few that are genuine and come with substance.

Consideration for your wants, your needs, or even your limits is nearly or even completely nonexistent unless it is stitching, patching, and holding up the illusion while they would still bother with it. And that’s usually what ultimately gives them away.

But how to filter them out sooner rather than later? How to figure them out early enough? They change and evolve so, if we’re trying to be precise and accurate rather than overly dismissive (or permissive), we gotta be on the lookout for how they move - whether directly, by observing and probing them, or indirectly, by studying known patterns that are likely to come up. 

If you have trouble wrapping your head around what they do, though, chances are that they're so unrelatable to you that you cannot easily make sense of them. And, albeit a pitfall, that's good news.

New Module: Beware

Yet another new module has been incorporated! It’s the heavy stuff. But oh-so-relevant nonetheless. Matters related to scamming and spamming are sprayed and scattered around on different types of content throughout the site (and will continue to be), but some issues must be addressed intensely in one place. ‘Cause no, you won’t be safe even while staying on your lane. And these can be major setbacks.

So here it is! On the left side column, just before the types of people you will encounter.

I'm One Of You, Queers

I’m here for you, buddies.

I won’t agree and roll with everything that the movement brings, but I’ve been for the cause since the early 90s. And if I’m gonna be judging anything, it’d be the same stuff I’d judge anyone and everyone for. (If you know what I mean.)

Let’s stay bold, sharp, and colorful!

New Module: Queer

And another new module has been incorporated! Just as I am out of the closet, so should this section be. Giving more visibility to my queer-related content now. I’d very much like to show my support as an ally and as one of us.

So here it is! On the left side column, just after everything else.

You Do Require The Time OFF & AWAY

There’s a twisted appeal to keeping people as tired and bored as they can be. This is not merely “hustling” or “hyperfixating”, which can be meaningful work that is stimulating and regenerative; it is literally self-destruction. This is how you lose touch with your humanity, how you stop making important questions and finding correct answers, how the pain signals and alerts shut down, how you become controllable and convenient. And your reward? Wasting your life while believing that you’re making the most of it.

But whether this programming and conditioning is intentional or not, strategically crafted to keep you obedient or simply misguided attempts to push forward, don’t abuse, neglect, and betray yourself like that. Especially if you’re the type of person whose work revolves around coming up with ideas, thinking critically, and examining your feelings, you ought to unplug. Give yourself a REAL break.

This may mean, even if only briefly:
- Turning off notifications.
- Stepping away from stressful and draining areas and devices.
- Giving yourself a change of scenery.
- Allowing yourself not to carry the world on your shoulders.
- Treating yourself to pleasures you had put off.

Even as a workaholic who dreads a lack of productivity, you could find it worthwhile when it resets you to optimal conditions to be your most productive. Both inspiration and motivation could return tenfold.

The higher the quality of your vacation, the quicker it can restore you.
Just know when enough is enough, so it propels rather than deters you.

New Module: Vacations

Another new module has been incorporated! Well, an extension to an already existing module. It’s another category within the Study Room. Because nobody can do without their due vacations. I’ll be filling it up over time like I’ve been doing with the rest.

So here it is! On the left side column, just at the end of the Study Room.

The Year Got Kickstarted For Sure

From the beginning of this year to what I define as the end of spring, I seem to have reached a closing point to give way to a clear slate. It went sort of like this:

ADVENTURES:
• Reconnecting with the person who helped me mend and grow my spine.
• Oddly and amazingly, crossed paths again with my appreciation for kickboxing and its embodiment.
• Novels I heard of long ago were suddenly brought back up and it was magical to read them again. I may despise other novels in the same genre (or forced/rushed reading in general), but these were so diehard.
• After searching the town for a new place, ended up moving to where I wouldn’t have guessed and it turned out for the better (best location for my preferences). As a bonus, the neighbors are lovely!
• Claiming the soft life with all that it implied and entailed, even beyond my own awareness.

MISADVENTURES:
• Couldn’t be the karma (or was I partly somehow? *shrugs*) to a person who terribly wronged me, but they’ve been self-destructing so… I don’t have to be anymore. I guess? It’s getting pitiful.
• Good manners? What are those these days? Can’t count on them existing. Absolutely baffling the lack of decency. I’d feel foolish but I insist that it’s a them problem. ‘Cause WTH. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!
• Stalkers can stalk… for a veeeeeeery long time. I don’t get how they’re not bored. I would be on the 5th day. I do not relate at all and can barely wrap my head around it, but glad I know more of the extent of it.
• Our black cat and the stray brown-ish cat we took in became buddies? Maybe he got pestered into it. IDK. But sure lost the cuddliness thanks to that other cat’s restlessness.
• Tech is getting craaaaaazyyy. And that’s an understatement. It’s concerning but I can’t do anything about it other than watch it all unfold. USA and China seem to be racing to cut edge and dominate, though.

It could have been worse. It could have been a seemingly endless, repetitive and tedious period of lame filler. But… getting better at swiftly escaping those at the early signs. This was a plot advancement concise enough. How did it go for you?